Sunday, September 25, 2011

Anger Management...?

Well, there are many things that angers me. Whenever I'm feeling really crappy; when things are not going the way I want or hope them to be, I tend to get angry even with the smallest me, I do. When a person is talking to me and I'm pissed, I either get pissed by it or i just ignore them without even meaning to do so. I know it's bad, but it's just that I don't really have the patience or even the energy to acknowledge them because all my energy is being worn out by my anger.

I would say that when it comes to controlling my anger, it's a 50/50 chance that I would be able to control it. Although, my ability to be able to control my anger depends on how angry I really am. I wouldn't necessarily explode all of a sudden on someone or something that easily. I would say that a person must have done something very wrong to me to make me explode on them. When I try to control my anger, I usually just close my eyes and breathe deeply...I guess you could consider that strategy as meditation. It usually help me calm my mind. Also when I'm at home, I like to go to my room and isolate myself from everyone and everything. I like to scream into my pillow and punch it. It helps me release all that steam that I've been keeping from the inside. It actually feels very refreshing after I do that and I think it's much better to do that than to release your anger to a person that has done nothing to you.

I would definitely be lying if I said that I've never exploded or "lost it" before because in all reality, I have “lost it” several times before. And when I do, I just black out; it’s like a totally different person comes out of me. There are things that I have said or done that I never want to happen. I lose that self-control. I don’t have control over me or the things that I say or do. Hurtful words and comments are said to that other person whenever I explode.

After such an outburst, there are many feelings that hover around me and it depends on whether who is at fault. Obviously, when someone had done such a nasty thing to me or if they were the one who started a fight with me, bursting into anger towards them makes me feel relieved. But if it is my own fault and that person that I exploded to was just trying to help me, of course I would feel very guilty and ashamed of what I've done to them. In the back of my head, i know that they cause no harm and just wanted to help. And that’s usually the reason why I would feel guilty and ashamed of what I've done to them. I never wanted things like that to happen in the first place.

Finally, to those who needs help controlling their anger, all I can really say is things that helps you calm down. Breathe deeply, close your eyes and think of things that would keep your mind away from the things that make you angry. It’s better to take your anger out on an object rather than take it out on a person. Violence is not the answer to anger...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Friends...Quality over Quantity.

Having friends is a huge part in everyone's lives. It’s what makes every single person in this world special and it’s just how we are. We love making friends and having friends by us. I don't think anyone can manage to live without having at least that single friend that you can definitely count on. People have different ways of making friends and there are most certainly different groups of friends everywhere. Even by just looking around our surroundings, you’ll see many varieties of friends - large and small. But regardless of the amount, I believe that it’s better to have a small amount of friends, but friends who you can definitely trust; rather than have a huge group of friends, but feels very fake.

It’s also important to have a many friends that surrounds you. BUT being able to choose your friends wisely is the most important thing. Which one would you rather have? A single friend that has been there by your side when your on the top of the world and even when you think you have hit rock bottom; or a bunch of fake people who are pretending to be your friend when your facing them, but the very moment that you turn around, they just stab you right in your back. If I was to choose, I’d pick having a single friend no doubt about it. In addition, I’m the type of person who isn’t really a loner, but at the same time, I’m not really friends with a lot of people. I choose my friends very carefully. Me having to choose friends carefully is far different to what someone would say being judgmental. I’ll be honest, I have my first impressions of people and I’d be a total hypocrite if I say that I don’t judge or say that I always get good impressions of people because in reality, it’s the opposite. Although, everyone starts of with a clean slate in my book. If they’re not doing anything wrong to me or are not bother me, then why should I have a reason to not like them. I like to give everyone a chance. The people that you least expect to come to your life are the ones that make a huge impact to you.

I remember an upperclassman, ring my freshman year, told me how you get to find who your real friends are when your in your junior/senior year. And now that I’m in my senior year, I found that advise to be very true. When I was in around in 8th grade and around freshman/beginning of sophomore year, I tried to fit in with the crowds. I tried to be friends with people that I knew in the back of my mind, are not what I’d consider as real friends. I tried to be “popular” …I tried doing what the rest of the other “popular” kids were doing and well it didn’t quite turn out right. The more I tried to be with those big crowds, the more I started losing my sense of individualism; the more I became acquired to the term of “fakeness”. I wasn’t who I wanted to be. As the days passed on, I became friends with other people, not because they were what people see as “popular” or the “coolest kids in school”, but because of their personality. I felt like as if I fit right in like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

I know many people who have a huge group of friends and also those who have a close knitted circle of friends. And based on what I have seen, there seems to be no difference when it comes to happiness whether a person has many friends or few friends. But what I’ve noticed is that one is closer than the other. It also depends whether you’re being true to yourself. If you are one of those people who chooses to change who you are just to be friends and just to be accepted by a group of people, then you’re just wasting your time changing for other people. Be true to who you are and there’ll always be people who will befriend you and see through who you really are instead of the things you do or have. Friends come and go, but it’s those who stays that are your real friends.

There are those who accumulate many friends because they feel lonely or can’t function right by themselves. They’re scared of being individualists and think that if they are not seen with a lot of people, others will think as if they’re a loser. Peer pressure also comes into play. But having many friends doesn’t always mean that you’re scare to be an individual, it also maybe because you have a personality that everyone likes and people just love to be around you. Meanwhile, there are also those who focuses on just one or two friends particularly because they are he/she’s closest friends. There are some who probably wished they have many friends, but people just haven’t seen who they really are. They might also have a different viewpoint of having friends. Not everyone is going to be very confident, there are those who are shy and tend to keep to themselves - having only a few amount of friends. But the most important thing is that we are happy with the people who we consider as friends.